Family Fight Night

"Let us remember that the basic council of the Church is the family council. Fathers and mothers should apply diligently the principles I have discussed in their relationships with each other and with their children. In doing so, our homes can become a heaven on earth" (Ballard).

It sounds lovely, doesn't it? 

Having had some prior experience with family fight night...I mean family councils, I was very wary about this assignment. I had to write down what I wanted to happen during and as a result of the council, and my first goal was that no one would end up crying. I can't remember what was on the agenda, but I do remember that my goal was not accomplished. We started off well. I had sent an agenda via text to all of my family members the night before. We started with a prayer. We talked about the items on the agenda, and I worked hard to stay on topic. However, things fell apart somewhere around "I could really use a little more help around the house." Everyone took offense to my statement, which I can now admit was poorly phrased. Our council turned into the blame game.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't salvage the spirit with which the meeting started. So, I cried. My tears were part frustration, part anger, part feeling of failure.

But I didn't give up! We held another family council a few weeks later, and then another and another. My family could recognize the importance of touching base, and the kids have felt empowered by our request for their input on certain family matters. 

Sometimes, our family councils don't look like the formal councils that Elder Ballard describes in his book, "Counseling with Our Counsels." Sometimes, it's a group text because we are all running in different directions. Other times, we have a prayer and refreshments. Both extremes have served us well, since our main goal is family connectivity. Our family fight nights have become an opportunity to show our love and support for each other, and there haven't been "council tears" in quite some time. I would triumphantly shout "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED", but I realize that there is always room for improvement. I know that we will be blessed as we work toward perfecting our councils.