Genesis 2:24 says that "therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife." While the Lord didn't put a mileage requirement on the admonition for a man to leave his parents to cleave unto his wife, my dad's joke wasn't far off the mark. It wasn't until my husband and I moved hundreds of miles and three states away from our families that we really, completely leaned on each other - cleaved unto each other.
At the beginning of our marriage, we were within a few minutes of my husband's parents' home and a few hours away from mine. It was easy to still look to them for counsel because they were right there. There was no shortage of advice, especially when it came to finances and employment and children. If we went to Sunday dinner, there were questions about our future plans. I fully believe that they all had the best of intentions, and I do love them so much. It didn't seem too intrusive, but the advice was always there.
We had been married for about five years when we moved away. Without our parents in close proximity, we were forced to turn to each other with our concerns. We talked more and dreamed more, and we were able to problem-solve.
As my children near the stage in life where they will be bringing new people into the family, I am trying to remember those feelings that I had those many years ago. Will I be able to separate myself from their lives enough that they will be able to grow and learn together without moving away? Or will I be so enmeshed that I don't really see the harm that I am causing? I hope that the former is true. I hope that my children and children-in-law will feel my love...and nothing more.
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